Even those with strong will, still have moments of weakness—it’s part of being human. Those with a firm grip on their faith, can still lose sight of what made them spiritual in the first place when the faith they believe in seems to be hypocritical (think Islam and terrorism or Christianity and sexual assault). Ironically enough, that same faith can help cleanse your mind of the impure thoughts. Lecrae is evidence of this.
The Christian rapper recently chopped it up with Sway and delved into one of the more darker times he faced, when his faith in God was slipping and he found himself contemplating taking his own life.
“I was in a really dark place, my faith was all messed up and I was wrestling with what I believed and how I believed in it because I seen a lot of crazy stuff within the church that really injured my faith,” said the Houston born rapper. “At the end of the day I just had to realize that these are frail, fallen people – not God himself – that’s doing all this crazy stuff.”
While he thought of harming himself before coming to that conclusion, ultimately the idea of his family having to deal with his suicide stopped him from going through with any impulsive actions.
“You don’t ever want no family member to catch your cold body laying on the floor,” he said.
“You don’t think about how that’s gon’ make them feel, you don’t think about the repercussions of how it affects them and how they in counselling and how they feeling this way. The cycle goes on and on and you got to end your pain but you created a tidal wave of pain for other people that’s gon’ ripple on and ripple on and ripple on. So that was always the thought that kept me grounded and said ‘nah don’t do that to them.’”
Though he was able to make it out of that dark chapter of his life, he acknowledges there’s a correlation between suicide and depression among the creative communities of the world. In his view, it troubles him that modern rap has taken on such a drug abusing vibe.
“A lot of people don’t understand the creative community is some of the most depressed and suicidal community known to man,” said Lecrae. “I always trip when dudes be talking about they be poppin’ Xans and everything…that’s really dangerous for y’all creatives because withdrawal symptoms of that is like more anxiety.”
The full two part interview can be viewed below where Lecrae discusses encouraging today’s rappers rather than hating on their culture, recalls a story of a close friend betraying him over money, receiving backlash for speaking out about police brutality and more. Oh yeah, he even kicks an off-the-top freestyle at the end.